Thursday 15 September, 2011 is R U OK?Day. A national day of action that aims to prevent suicide by encouraging Australians to connect with someone they care about and help stop little problems turning into big ones.
R U OK? Day is about getting everyone from across the country, from all backgrounds and walks of life, to ask family, friends and colleagues: “Are you OK?”.
Staying connected with others is crucial to our general health and wellbeing. Feeling isolated or hopeless can contribute to depression and other mental illnesses, which can ultimately result in suicide. Regular, meaningful conversations can protect those we know and love.
It’s so simple but in the time it takes to have a coffee, you can start a conversation that could change a life, having regular, meaningful conversations is simple; you don’t need special training to do it. Below are some helpful pointers from Lifeline to help you connect with someone you think may be doing it tough as well as one of our videos which looks at how you can reach out and help and friend or family member who you may be concerned about.
Are R U OK?
- Start a general conversation somewhere private.
- Build trust through good eye contact, open and relaxed body language.
- Ask open–ended questions to discuss concerns based on their behaviour.
You may also like to use the following questions to start a conversation:
- “You know, I’ve noticed that you’ve seemed really down/worried/stressed for a long time now. Is there anyone you’ve been able to talk to about it?”
- “Lots of people go through this sort of thing. Getting help will make it easier”
- “I hate to see you struggling on your own. There are people that can help. Have you thought of visiting your doctor?”
Listen Without Judgement
- Guide the conversation with caring questions.
- The more they talk the better. A problem shared is a problem halved.
- Don’t rush to solve problems for them. It is better to have a full understanding of the issues.
- Listen to the person without judging them as lazy or weak. They are trying to cope as best they can.
- Don’t give advice like “cheer up” or “pull yourself together” or “you’ll be right mate”.
- It is important to let them know that it is good they are discussing it.
Encourage Action
- Summarise the issues and ask them what they plan to do.
- Encourage them to take one step, such as see their doctor.
- It is essential to follow up. Nothing changes until someone acts.
Follow Up
- People who are really struggling often find it difficult to take action. Therefore, it is very important to follow up on how they are going.
- Put a note in your diary to call them in one week. If they are desperate, follow up with them sooner.
- Ask if they have managed to take that first step and see someone.
Dealing with denial?
- If they deny the problem, do not criticize them. Acknowledge they are not ready to talk.
- Say you are still concerned about changes in their behaviour.
- Ask if you can enquire again next week if there is no improvement.
Videos
and this one by headspace about asking R U OK?
More information
- Suicide
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Managing Depression
- Worried About Someone Feeling Depressed
- Managing Stress
- Loss and Grief
- Self Harm
- Supporting a Friend
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