What is the balance
Do you ever feel like you are in a balancing act with your parents? One minute you are happy and carefree and the next your down each others throats? From arguments to Kodak moments, we all have our ups and downs with our parents. Correct? But can you imagine life without them? Imagine a world without parents. I don’t know about you but I would feel lost and confused, and I would certainly miss the irreplaceable memories that I share with them.
So why do we challenge and constantly disagree with our parents? All teenagers understand the frustration that is experienced when we hear the words, “No, you can’t go to that party”, or, “No, you aren’t going there with that boy”, but still we try and try again to reach our goals.
According to Glenn Kashurba, who is a child and adolescent psychiatrist, it is normal for all teenagers to go through a process of separating from their parents in order to gain some independence and a sense of identity. So, it doesn’t mean we are bad people or inhumane, it simply means we are trying to see the world from our own perspective and experience realistic situations for ourselves. Does this behaviour and these feelings sound familiar?
The everyday life of an adult is extremely different to the everyday life of a teenager and our parents only want what is best for us, therefore they try and protect us from what they believe is the ‘outside world’. So how can we, as teenagers, achieve an equal balancing act, that ensures a healthy relationship is sustained with our parents, but at the same time we are given a fair go at experiencing a social life? Here are my thoughts:
The first step is to learn how far is too far. Getting a message through to your parents shouldn’t involve conducting any illegal, violent or dangerous activities, such as reckless driving, harming someone on purpose or theft. Truancy, or skipping school and purposely letting your school grades suffer also affects your future, and career, so isn’t a good approach either, just be yourself.
The second step is to EARN your privileges and freedom. This can be done simply by completing chores without asking, excelling in school and improving your grades or by getting a part time job that gives you access to money to spend the way you would like it.
The third step is to release your anger in private. This not only keeps arguments and screaming/fighting with your parents to a minimum but shows your parents you can respond maturely to situations. A journal or a diary is a good way to record your feelings, even making a digital webcam video, or even confiding in a friend can be a good stress release too. Eventually, after waiting for a good time and having patience, as well as acting independently by taking responsibility for your actions, your hard work may pay off. Your parents may start to give you some more freedom, if they realise you are making an extra effort. You will also find that you will be more prepared for adult life by doing this, as you not only compromise with your parents, but show them respect, dignity and display mature habits.
So the next time you are about to get into a yelling or screaming match with your parents, think of a way to act differently to the situation, or how you could take a different approach. Remember, they were a teenager once too and they only want what is best for you. With age comes responsibility, so try and enjoy the life you have as a teenager before you step into adulthood. And, cherish the Kodak moments, you never know when your parents might not be there to share them with you.
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By Jess.
A bit about Jess: Hi my name is Jess, I’m am 16 and live on the Sunshine Coast in QLD. I am passionate about the dramatic arts and I want to help improve Australia’s future by getting involved with any extra curricular activities I can. I love to write and I value friends and family because at the end of the day they are the people that will always be there for you.
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Image Acknowledgement
Feet on doormat by Nick See under creative commons licence
