Overview

It is normal to argue or disagree with people and everyone experiences some conflict in their life. Conflict can occur with your friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend, teachers or in the work place. It is when you leave a disagreement unresolved that it can turn into an uncomfortable experience.

Topic Videos

Anger

Being angry is normal and sometimes it can motivate you to do better. In other situations, it can be harmful.

Steven 'Bajo' O'Donnell from ABC's Good Game SP along with headspace ambassador Dan Jackson and other young men talk about situations that make them angry, what the warning signs of anger look like and how it can affect our day-to-day lives.

For more information, to find your nearest headspace centre or for online and telephone support visit headspace.org.au

  • Author: headspace
  • Upload Date: 2013-08-15

Created by headspace

Stories on this Topic

Featured Story (image)

The Great Balancing Act

Do you ever feel like you are in a balancing act with your parents? One minute you are happy and carefree and the next your down each others throats? From arguments to Kodak moments, we all have our ups and downs with our parents. Correct? But can you imagine life without them? Imagine a world without parents. I don't know about you but I would feel lost and confused, and I would certainly miss the irreplaceable memories that I share with them.

So why do we challenge and constantly disagree with our parents? All teenagers understand the frustration that is experienced when we hear the words, "No, you can't go to that party", or"No, you aren't going there with that boy", but still we try and try again to reach our goals. Read the full story here http://www.tuneinnotout.com/blog/the-great-balancing-act

  • Author: Jess
  • Upload Date: 2011-11-29

Written by Jess

Factsheet

Provided by Reach Out

We have partnered with Reach Out to bring you the best factsheet information we can on this topic. Reach Out offers information, support and resources to help young people improve their understanding of mental health issues, develop resilience, and increase their coping skills and help-seeking behaviour.

Resolving an Argument

Why does conflict arise?

Conflict written on the pavementIt is normal to argue or disagree with people and everyone experiences some conflict in their life. Conflict can occur with your friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend, teachers or in the work place. It is when you leave a disagreement unresolved with people you see regularly, or those you are closest to, that it can turn into an uncomfortable experience. Approaching them to resolve things isn't always an easy thing to do.

Conflict can arise for any number of reasons:

  • You may be having trouble understanding someone else's perspective on an issue.
  • You may have different beliefs and values to someone else.
  • Your needs may conflict with someone else's needs.
  • You may not be happy about how someone is treating you.
  • You may be feeling stressed or angry about something and that causes you to be confrontational.

Resolving your differences

Approaching the person you disagree with: Talking to the person about your disagreement can be helpful. In approaching them, it is a good idea to make sure it is in a constructive way, thinking about the points you want to express. Approaching the person is more often effective if you are calm and not angry. Think about how safe it is to approach someone you are in conflict with. Approaching them in public may mean they are less likely to be violent or abusive. If they are likely to be violent or abusive, it may be best not to resolve it directly. Perhaps you could talk to them over the phone or send an email.

Gain an understanding of each other's perspective: To help understand why both parties are disagreeing, it may help to ask questions about their point of view.

Explain how you feel: When you talk to the person you are in disagreement with, try to tell them how you feel. You can try to explain how you feel as a result of their opinion, try not to make statements about their perception of the problem.

Allocate time to talk: It can be easy to get back into an argument while you are trying to resolve it. One way to help avoid this is by giving each other time to highlight each point of view. It may be easier to write your point of view down so that you can both read it and think about what the other has said.  This way you can come back and dicuss it.

Use a mediator: You may need someone else to help you resolve a disagreement. Asking a third person to act as a mediator can help you both get another perspective on the disagreement. Friends, a counsellor, a psychologist or a youth worker are people who are able to act as mediators. Check out Reach Out's Who can help you section for more information.

Consult conflict resolution policy: If one person in a disagreement has more power over the other person, this can be particularly difficult. At work or school it can be even more difficult. In these situations it is useful to find out if there is a conflict resolution policy in your school, uni, TAFE or workplace. There may be people who can advise you on the right procedures to follow if direct negotiation with the person is not working for you.

Agree to disagree: It is also possible to agree to disagree. It is not good to or even necessary to agree with someone all of the time.

 

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