Does something not seem quite right? Are you worried about the way you or someone close to you in behaving? This topic page includes a mental health checklist factsheet, amazing real life stories and videos to help you decide what you may need to do, for either yourself or a friend. Remember support and help is available. Take care



















Olivia talks about her struggle with depression and anxiety and her experience of sharing her story with others in a public speech.
Created by Reach Out
I had a pretty bad time in high school. Without going into details, I was bullied, I knew what it was like to be hurt and alone, I felt angry, sad, and eventually I felt nothing. I was not okay, and I knew I was not okay, but no one else seemed to care. None of my friends were willing to really open up to me. It was like I was drowning and I was surrounded by people in boats, but none of them were willing to risk reaching out to me.
Read the full story about is it Ok to see a counsellor on the blog
As part of our blog series Xin takes a personal look into the question, is it Ok to see a counsellor.
Written by Xin as part of our blog section.

itsallright.org is a SANE Australia website for young people. By providing advice and information in fact sheets, podcasts and a busy helpline, SANE Australia helps thousands of people living with mental illness every year, as well as their family and friends.
You are worried. Is it serious or is the moodiness, irritability and withdrawn behaviour a stage to grow out of? Are drugs involved? Is a medical assessment needed to help you decide if there is a serious problem?
This factsheet featuring a mental health checklist has been written to help you decide whether or not further help is needed and to inform you of what help is available. The chances are that there is not a serious problem, and time and reassurance are all that are needed. However, if there is a developing mental illness, then getting help early is very important. You can also download a copy of this mental health checklist factsheet.
If the illness is picked up early enough there is a good chance of controlling the symptoms with low doses of medication and without going into hospital. There is a better chance that the person will keep friends and maintain a good relationship with the family. Getting well again soon means less time lost at school or work and more time for normal relationships, experiences and activities which helps us stay emotionally healthy.
Behaviour which is considered normal although difficult.
People may be:
|
rude |
irritable |
|
over-sensitive |
lazy |
|
rebellious |
weepy |
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argumentative |
over-emotional |
|
withdrawn |
thoughtless |
|
shy |
 |
These behaviours may also occur as a normal brief reaction to stressful events such as:
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breakup of close |
other family crisis |
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exam failure |
moving house |
|
death of a loved one |
physical illness |
|
divorce |
other personal crisis |
Behaviours which are considered abnormal for that person. People may:
Families and others who are concerned often wonder if odd behaviour may be due to alcohol or drugs. In some cases this may be true.
Some people who are developing psychiatric problems may use drugs and alcohol to make them feel better or to signal their need for help. Although they may feel better for a short time, these drugs will, in fact, make the symptoms worse and make treatment more difficult.
To confuse things still more, drugs can sometimes produce symptoms similar to those of psychotic illnesses such as schizophrenia. For example, marijuana (cannabis) and alcohol can produce loss of body boundaries and strange feelings of being watched, persecuted or attacked. If the symptoms are due to drugs (a drug-induced psychosis) they will disappear in a few days when all the drugs have gone from the body.
Prolonged use of certain drugs, however, may produce long-lasting effects. If drug use is starting to interfere with day-to-day activities and is causing problems within the family, school or workplace then further help should be sought. GPs may make a medical assessment to determine if there is an underlying psychiatric problem requiring further attention, or if referral to an alcohol and drug agency for treatment is appropriate. If not, ask your doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist.
It can be very difficult for families to assess how much drugs contribute to puzzling behaviour. The issues are complicated and are best sorted out with careful professional help over time.
Sometimes this can be very difficult. Because of the criticism of their behaviour, some feel that others are against them, and are frightened or angry. Some, because of their confused thinking, have trouble getting their thoughts together well enough to explain their problems . . . or they may feel too anxious or afraid to do so . . . or they may not know they are ill.
If there is outright resistance to the idea of visiting the doctor, consult with the doctor yourself to work out a plan over time. It may be possible and appropriate for the doctor to assess the person at home. If this is not possible, the doctor should still be able to provide help and support to the family and others who are concerned.
If the doctor does not seem to understand, look for another who does.
Often the first step is the most difficult one. You may find it helpful to take this mental health checklist factsheet as a discussion-starter. If you are very worried, make an appointment to talk only about this problem, and if necessary book a longer appointment than usual. If you are not quite ready to see someone face to face - why not try and online service such as eheadspace where you can chat with someone either via the phone or via online chat.
It is helpful if you provide the relevant information in writing if possible. A doctor cannot work out what is wrong unless you give the full story. Explain exactly what the person has been doing and saying, where and when. Try not to use vague words which do not describe behaviour. For example, instead of saying or writing –
| Â | Say | Â |
| John gets very frustrated | Â | John was so angry last night that he kicked his bedroom door down |
| Paul is very shy these days | Â | for the past week Paul has only come out of his room to get food |
| Maria looks awful |  | Maria wears dirty clothes to school and doesn’t wash or comb her hair any more – she used to be so fussy about her appearance |
| Donna thinks we are against her | Â | last night Donna would not talk to her friends or eat with us. She said we are all plotting against her |
If you are concerned with your own mental health is can also be very useful to keep a diary of self talk, actions, alcohol and drug use, sleep patterns etc and take this with you when visiting a GP or health worker.
Additionally school reports before and after the problem began, samples of school work, dates absent from school or work, comments made by teachers, employers or friends, for example, would be of value.
Remember, the first step is the most difficult one. If necessary, check with your doctor to see if the person you are worried about can be visited at home for an assessment.
SANE Australia also produces a range of easy-to-read publications and multimedia resources on mental illness. To order visit the SANE Bookshop at www.sane.org or call 1800 18 SANE (7263)
Here at Tune In Not Out you will also find a wide range of information about depression, stress and anxiety as well as blog posts about other young people managing their depression.
Thanks guys this really helped me for my skool project lo of love Mitch XOXOXOX
lately well the past month or so ive become irratible and withdrawn and lost a lot of confidence around my mates im finding it hard to be happy today for instance i just sat there could not move just did not have the confidence to just get up and talk and these guys are the easiest people to talk to. im finding it very hard to be happy and just in general feel depressed. help please
Hi Rob, Really sorry that you are having a tough time, but it is great you have reached out for help. There are many services which could assist. Check out our Finding Help section for a some suggestions http://www.tuneinnotout.com/topics/finding-help/.
headspace.org.au is a great service, because if you are unsure about going to a service you could start off by getting some help either via their online chat or phone service first. Take great care TINO Crew
i’ve been having these nightmares and they are not very nice and i can’t concerate in class
could you help me to deal with them
Hi Zoe, sorry to hear about the nightmares. Seeking some help is a great step – check out our finding help page – here we have links to services which can provide one on one advice. We hope it all turns out ok. http://www.tuneinnotout.com/topics/finding-help/.
Hi, I’ve had depression once before in my life buts its been dormant for 13 years. In the last 4 weeks my mother has grown very sick, I havnt been able to find a job, had to leave home to go to uni and to top it off this week my girlfriend broke up with me. I’ve honestly never felt so hopeless in my life. I have absolutely no idea how to be happy anymore. Please help.
Hi Josh,
Sorry to hear hear that things feel so difficult for you at the moment, and really sorry to hear about your Mum being sick, and the break up with your girlfriend. It is understanding these issues would be having an impact on you, but by reaching out for help and support you are taking a great step forward – so well done.
Although we are not able to offer one on one counselling, we really recommend contacting a service that can, there are some great ones out there. Accessing support from a service such as headspace (did you know you can chat to them in person at one of their centres, via the phone or event chat – check out http://www.eheadspace.org.au ) can really make a difference. Please keep on your help seeking journey, because you will again feel better than you do right now, and you will find a way through this tricky time.
Please take great care, we hope things are on the up real soon.
TINo Crew
Hi,
Gradually over the last 6 weeks ive felt worthless, unloved, lonely. Over the last week im struggling with constant lack of energy, struggling to get out of bed after 10 hours sleep.
Ive cancelled nights out with girlfriends because i have no confidence. Im short tempered with my partner who is away 4 weeks at a time with work.
Im struggling to communicate how i feel with my partner because i feel he hasnt got the time of day for me and ends up in a fight. Am i going crazy? Why do i feel like this when im usually very out going, happy and easy to get along with???
Hi Krissy,
The last 6 weeks don’t sound like they have been much fun for you, and like there are few different issues going on, we are really sorry to hear that.
Unfortunately, we can’t offer one on one counselling, but we would love to provide a few suggestions for finding some help to get this sorted, and things back on track for you as soon as poss.
You could try visiting your GP, they can be a great starting point for checking out what might be going on for you. There are also services such as headspace that can help out if you are feeling lonely, depressed etc, they can even be a great place to talk about what might be happening in your relationship. We reckon it must be hard going if your partner is away 4 weeks at a time. Another step could be to try and keep a few of your dates with the girlfriends, maybe even explain to them you are having a tough time, they might be able to offer some support to help you through.
Oh, and so you know you can talk to headspace either in person at a centre, online via chat or even over the phone. Check them out http://www.eheadspace.org.au
We hope things look up real soon, and some of these options above help.
Take good care
TINO Crew
Hey, I don’t know why I am posting this because its not really going to help me. I am only fifteen years old and I think I may have depression, I’m not sure. If I say this to any of my family they will brush it off and treat it as attention seeking. You see I am gay to start off with. My Dad does not accept me liking other boys. He always makes jokes about turning me into a “real man”. Another problem aswell is that when I was seven years old my mother passed away from cancer. To be honest I don’t remember much pain over this. I guess I was just too young, but now I can’t remember the simplest things about her and it really gets to me. There are days when for no reason at all I stop, sit down and cry. I keep crying until I have no more tears. I don’t even think about anything when I cry, it just comes naturally. My dad gets mad at me everytime and my little sister calls me a baby. My school grades are dropping dramatically. But its wierd because it is not dropping since my mum died, it only started dropping last year. I have started smoking, I know it is disgusting and I should stop, but I just do it anyways.
I really don’t want to live with my Dad, he has not been violent towards me but in the past he has hit my older brother and sister. Im not scared for my safety or anything, I just don’t want to be here.
Now I am realising how pointless this post is. How is this going to fix my problems? Exactly.
Hey Troy,
Sorry to hear hear that things are difficult for you at the moment, it can be hard when you don’t have the support of family and friends. But depression certainly is not attention seeking and we encourage to to find some support. Sorry to also hear about the passing of your Mum and troubles with your dad, it is understanding these issues would be having an impact on you.
Although we are not able to offer one on one counselling, we really recommend contacting a service that can, there are some great ones out there. Accessing support from a service such as headspace (did you know you can chat to them in person at one of their centres, via the phone or event chat – check out http://www.eheadspace.org.au ) can really make a difference, they could chat with about how to manage the depression and also talk through some of the conflict you are having with your dad. Please keep on your help seeking journey, because you will again feel better than you do right now, and you will find a way through this tricky time.
Please take great care, we hope things are on the up real soon.
TINO Crew
Dear Chris, Wow it sounds like things are pretty tough for you and your family, it sounds like you are being super considerate of your families needs by thinking of them first in terms of the money, that shows a really caring person. Perhaps you might be able to ask for enough for a visit to a movie just once a month, a trip out with friends could help. We can’t provide advice on whether you are depressed, but we really encourage you to check out some of the services on our finding help page, or why not check in with eheadspace – you can chat with them online or via the phone. Getting this checked out now, will hopefully mean you feel much better sooner. You take great care. eheadspace – https://eheadspace.org.au/
Hey,
Over the past 4 weeks I’ve been feeling constantly down and sad. I was an A grade student playing sport a a high level as I 16 year old trying to make a future for myself in both school work and sport. I hit a point of time where i played in some trials and played at a good standard, 2 weeks later i found myself dropped and with nowhere to go. It hit hard on me as id been working for this for about 4 or 5 years and the majority of males in my family had made it past where i hadn’t.
This then affected my schooling. I went from an A grade student being looked at to becoming future leader at a school with lots of history and class behind it, to becoming a average student in grades and my standards as a person dropping.
Confusion then came in as my best friend began to drift away from me after we both liked the same girl at the same time. But it wasn’t the girl that split us apart, another guy came in and started to make a bad influence on him and to be honest “took him away”.
I do know about depression and other mental health issues as my mother works as a successful Psychologist.
My story is not like that of others in the fact that i am living a pretty damn good life compared to the others that have spoken out about their issues.
Hey Lachie,thank you for sharing your story, it is great that you can see that you have lots of good stuff in your life, but this doesn’t always stop us feeling sad or hurt when other areas of our life start to get tough. We are really sorry that your sporting dreams have hit a hurdle, and your grades have been affected. Although your mum sounds like she would be very knowledgeable, perhaps you would also like someone independent to chat too? Have you considered either heading to your local headpace centre, or even contacting them via their eheadspace where they can chat to via phone of email. Support from them and your mum combined may help out. Unfortunately we can’t provide counseling via TINO, but we hope that this info might help you take the next step in seeking help. You take great care.
Hi,
I was just wondering what causes depression I have just recent;y lost one of my best friends and have been feeling real down My mum thinks It just peer pressure but it feels like more I was also woundering If depression can lead to anything else
I hope you can answer my questions
Hi Erin,
Wow it sounds like you are having a tough time, we are so sorry about your friend. How fantastic that you have gone looking for information to try and work out what is going on for you, depression can lead on to other things, but just on its own it can be very difficult and hard to deal with. We can’t provide one on advice, but we really encourage you to go and have a chat with a service or even your school counsellor who can help you work through what is going on – there are some fab ones out there . Is there a headspace service near you? You can even use their eheadspace service ( http://www.eheadspace.org.au/) where you can chat online or via chat. Take huge care and please look after you. Lynsey
Hi,
Over the past few Months I have been feeling real down My friends are saying that I have changed and They don’t want to be my friend any more And Things at home have not been going very well either my pop has been real sick and I have been worried about him. Me and My mum are always fighting she reckons Im always being mean to my little sister she is 10 and is always getting me into trouble And I have tried to change but my friends think that I’m to bitchy I still have a few friends but I just lost my best friend I always cry myself to sleep and I don’t know what to do Please Help!!!!!
Hey Erin, wow it really does sound like you have a lot happening for you, I have written some details in the comment below for some suggestions for where to head for some support. We are sure if you can find a service you feel comfortable, or a school counsellor you get on well with, that they will help you work through some of this stuff, other young people have told us this really helped them – check out some of the stories above about what others have found useful. All the best, take massive care. Lynz
Hello I had an extreme case of depression last year just to let others know their is a hope at the end of this dark tunnel
You will make it.
We get down because it builds up inside of us and sometimes we dont know where to turn to you will make it.
the doctor helped me and a councillor
life just isn’t wat is use to be, i’ve finally have come up with the corrage to talk to someone but all the site i find are for under 25 and i’m 29. i don’tfeel comfortable talking to my family or doctor, wat other sites are there, please.
Hi Stasia, how great you have decided to talk to someone – here are some links to other services. There is the SANE helpline online http://www.sane.org/helpline/helpline-online or you can ring them on 1800 18 7263 or http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ or call their helpline on 1300 224636. These should be able to help you on this stage of your journey. Keep going you are doing a great job, and there is help available. Take great care
I’ve never had depression or been diaognosed with it but recently I’ve been sort of bullied by some girl who was my ‘friend’ and saw a councillor. My brother is being rude and mean to me and it makes me feel anxious and I snap and get angry at the smallest things. Then I get sad and cry then I get angry and then I cry even more. Everything is nothing and it’s all so confusing. I tried to talk to mum and she said I should just suck it up but I’ve been doing this for the past few years. Everything goes away for a while and I’m happy but theny my world crashes or I get randomly upset for no reason. Please help me, any advice will be appreciated.
Hi Rachel – Sorry to hear that things are not feeling so great at the moment, and a huge well done on going to see the councillor, we hope that put a stop to the bullying – that is just not OK. We can’t give one n one advice, we would recommend going back to your councillor and explaining these feelings you are having, although mum might mean well, unfortunately when we are having a tough time we can’t just suck it up or snap out of it – we often need help and support. Also visit our finding help page for some places to contact and videos and stories of what has helped others. Take care
Hey, I’m trying to seek information off the net as to why lately I’ve been having a list of abnormal behavior that you could possibly help me with. I’m 20 if that helps. Daily I’ve had prolonged headaches around the front of the head and especially around my left eyebrow, vision is more blurry then usual, I don’t have the effort to talk to certain people especially family, my moods have been very flat, I have no energy, sometimes I just lay staring into nothing and think depressive thoughts, I’ve been getting nausea through out the day, always feeling down, and sometimes getting unnecessary confusion.
Cheers
Hi Stevie, it sounds like you are having a number of things happening for you, we can’t offer one on one advice, but would recommend you visit you GP first off to check out these physical symptoms and also chat about the feelings of depression you have. Our tip is to write it all down so that you don’t miss anything out. Perhaps make a double appointment so you don’t feel rushed and could you take a long a trust friend or family member. Take care hope the GP provides some answers.
hi,
i could really use your insight here. I’m 25 years old and i’ve been off and on anti-depressants for the last 15 years. i’ve tryed several different types none work.
Lately i’ve been so irratable, crying for no reason, very little appitate, and very little sleep. I’ve tryed physotherpy as well, it works for a short time. i’m at my wits ends. i dont know if its just depression or if its something else. i’ve been told its major depressive disorder by some docs i’ve seen and others say its major manic depression. what ever my issue it is, its starting to tear my and my boyfriend apart. I do my best to eat right and exercise daily. please provide some insight here, i know i need help but i dont know which direction to go. my gp is just going to give me anti-depressants.
Hey Lin,
Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time, it is understandable that this is getting to you, but how wonderful that you are actively seeking ways to manage it, it also sounds like you are doing all the right things with exercise etc.
Unfortunately we can’t provide one on one counselling here on TINO. Have you tried the youth service headspace, they have a great bunch of people on board to help you work your way through this stuff. They have centres across the country, but can also visit their eheadspace http://www.eheadspace.org.au service where you can chat online or via the phone – perhaps ask a friend who you trust or a relative to go along with you for support. Take great care.