Overview

In this section you can explore a range of on-demand videos,real stories and factsheets. To refine your search use the options menu on the right.

Videos

Hayden's Story

Doing your own thing is not always easy, especially when you go to school with people who are afraid of difference. Hayden tells us how he got through the crap and found the good life.

  • Author: Youth Worx
  • Upload Date: 5/5/2011

Produced by Youth Worx Media

Stories

Featured Story (text)

Andrea's Story

Andrea's Story


A work by Andrea

I was 19 when I started dating my now ex-boyfriend. At first he seemed charming, witty, funny, and adventurous. I fell in love with him right away.

For the first couple of months everything was great, but then the fights started, at first over very petty things, like my not having a special ringtone for him on my phone.

It escalated into things about my behaviour, suddenly everything I was doing was wrong, and I found myself apologising to him several times a day for things I did that upset him, which was nearly everything.

I felt like I was walking on eggshells around him because literally anything I said or did could upset him.

Later, after discovering that he had been sleeping with an ex-girlfriend of his, we fought more than ever. Somehow I held the blame for this too, but yet I still stayed with him. Eventually, we even moved in together.

After thinking that we had finally gotten things right, he left me abruptly. And I found myself alone and with no friends.

How I coped

During our relationship, I had no way to cope except to keep journals that I knew he wouldn't find. I had unintentionally driven away all of my friends and had no outside support. And I could not talk to him about the depression and anxiety I was experiencing as it would upset him and turn into an argument.

Writing down my feelings was a very good outlet.

How the situation changed

My situation changed after he left me for another girl. At first I was devastated, but after looking back and seeing all the abuse I was put through, I was grateful that he left. I only felt sorry for the next girl that he dated.
What helped me

At first, I only had myself to rely on. I had to remind myself that I was strong and independent and that things would get better for me without him.

Later, I reconnected with all of the friends and family members I had driven away during our relationship, and they helped me to realise that this experience has made me a stronger and more driven individual.

My advice to others

Learn to stick up for yourself and don't let yourself fall under the control of a partner. Also, don't take the signs of abuse lightly, and don't brush off your partner's behavior. Just because he's not hitting you does not mean you're not being hurt.

If you feel unhappy in your relationship and feel that you're not being treated as you know you deserve, seek help and do everything you can to get out of it. You deserve to be cherished as the person you are.

Click to read the text

Andreas story of a controlling relationship

  • Author: Andrea
  • Upload Date: 2011-01-18

A real Story from Love The Good The Bad and The Ugly


Factsheet

Provided by Reach Out

We have partnered with Reach Out to bring you the best factsheet information we can on this topic. Reach Out offers information, support and resources to help young people improve their understanding of mental health issues, develop resilience, and increase their coping skills and help-seeking behaviour.

Assessing Your Safety

At times we underestimate the amount of danger we are in, either because we don't realise or don't want to accept how dangerous a situation is. Being safe is important and there are things you can do to ensure your safety.

Steps you can take to ensure your safety

Is there immediate danger?

How likely is it that someone would hurt you? If necessary, you may have to move to somewhere safe.

Do you have support?

Making a decision to leave a situation where you feel unsafe may be hard and scary. If possible, talk to someone you trust, like a friend, a counsellor, or youth worker. Have a look at the Who can help you section.

Talk to the police

If you feel unsafe the police are good people to talk to. If you have been hurt, or know of someone who has, the police will be able to help.

Believe in yourself

If someone is hurting you or threatening to, it can be hard to maintain your self-confidence. Remember it is NEVER OK for someone to hurt or threaten to hurt you.

Know your rights

It may be a good idea to check out your legal rights. Laws vary from state to state. To find out about your rights check out the Lawstuff web site.

Consider a safety plan

A safety plan may be necessary before you leave a situation where you feel unsafe. In making a plan considering the following may help:

Have somewhere safe to go

If you can't think of anywhere where you can stay, you may need to contact a refuge. See the contact numbers below for assistance.

Tell someone

If possible, tell friends and/or family to see if they can help protect and support you.

Have money

If possible, save some money so you can leave a situation that you don't feel safe in.

Minimise time alone

Try and be around other people whenever possible.

After you feel safe

Once the crisis situation has passed, it is usually easier to work out what to do in the future. One step that may be necessary is ending the relationship or moving. This will probably be a hard step, so if possible have as much support as possible. If you are concerned for your safety in the future it may be necessary to talk to the police and also do basic things like get a silent number or screen calls through an answering machine.

Remember - there are many people and services that can help. Just talking to someone you trust about your concerns can help you see your options more clearly. The Who can help you section on the left side of the page has information on how counsellors, youth workers, police and other professionals can assist. Below is a list of help numbers and services which specialise in this area.

More Information

Check out our other pages on Domestic Violence and online safety

National Services

Police or Ambulance or Fire - 000 (Australia only)

Violence Against Women, Australian Says No (Specialises in Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault counseling and referrals) - 1800 200 526

Relationships Australia - 1300 384 277

Mensline Australia - 1300 78 99 78

VIC

Domestic Violence and Incest Resource Centre (Telephone counselling, information and referral to local services)
Address: 139 Sydney Rd Brunswick
Ph. (03) 9486 9866 Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm OR TTY (03) 9417 2155
Email: dvirc@dvirc.org.au

WIRE - Women's Information and Referral Exchange (Information, support and referral for women)
Ph: 9654-6844 (Mon-Fri 9am - 7pm) OR 1800 136 570 (country callers)

Women's Domestic Violence Crisis Service of Victoria (24 hr Crisis support, information, referral to safe accommodation (refuge) for women experiencing abuse in their relationships)
Ph: 03 9373-0123 OR 1800 015 188 (toll free for country users)

Centre Against Sexual Assault Crisis (support, counselling, information for people who have been sexually assaulted)
Ph: 03 9344 2000 (daytime) OR 03 9349-1766 (After Hours Telephone Service) OR 1800 806 292 (Country)

Immigrant Women's Domestic Violence Service (For immigrant women who are victims of domestic violence)
Ph: 03 9898-3145 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm)

NSW

Domestic Violence Line (24hr telephone support)
Ph: 1800 656 463 OR 1800 671 442 (TTY)

Rape Crisis Centre - (02) 9819-6565 OR 1800-424-017 (Country Toll Free)

Immigrant Women's Speakout (Association For migrant & refugee women who are victims of violence, counselling, bilingual workers)
Ph: (02) 9635-8022 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm)

Victims of Crime Support Line (Twenty Four (24) hour telephone information, support and referral for victims of crime)
Ph: (02) 9374 3000 (metro) OR 1800 633 063 (toll free) OR (02) 9374 3175 (TTY)

ACT

Domestic Violence Crisis Service (24hr telephone counselling, referral)
Ph: (02) 6280 0900 OR (02) 6228 1852 (TTY)

Canberra Rape Crisis Centre (24 hr) - 6247-2525

NT

Domestic Violence Crisis Service, Darwin
Ph: (08) 8945-6200 (9-5 Mon-Fri)

Crisis Line (General crisis counseling - 24hr service) - 1800 019 116

Sexual Assault Referral Centre Counselling (support, information, & 24hr crisis care for recent sexual assault)
Darwin - (08) 8922-7156
Alice Springs - (08) 8951-5880

QLD

Brisbane Rape & Incest Crisis Centre - (07) 3391 0004

Immigrant Women's Support Service (Support for immigrant or refugee women victims of domestic violence, bilingual workers - Mon-Fri 9am-5pm)
Domestic Violence (07) 3846-3490
Sexual Assault (07) 3846 5400

SA

Domestic Violence Outreach Service (Telephone and face to face counselling, referral to safe accommodation - 24 hour service 7 days a week) - 1300 782 200

Crisis Care (After hours crisis support for violence and abuse, suicide, child protection etc, 4pm-9am plus weekends & public.hols) - 08 8124 4424

Women's Information Service of South Australia - (08) 8303-0590 OR 1800 188 158 OR 0401 989 860 (SMS)

TAS

Domestic Violence Crisis Service (Mon-Fri 9am-Midnight, weekends 4pm-midnight) - (03) 6233 2529 OR 1800 633 937 OR 1800 608 122 (Statewide)

Sexual Assault Support Services (Telephone and face to face counseling) - 03 6231 1811

WA

Women's Refuge Group Telephone (support, referral to safe accommodation, Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) - (08) 9420 7264

Crisis Care Unit (24hr crisis support for violence, child protection, suicide, etc) - (08) 9325-1111 or 1800 199-008 or (08) 9325-1232 (TTY)

Sexual Assault & Referral Centre (24 hr Telephone and face to face counselling, female doctors) - (08) 93401828 or 9340 18 20 or 1800 199-888 (Country callers)

Women's Refuge & Multicultural Service (Outreach support for immigrant women who are victims/ survivors of domestic violence) - (08) 9325-7716

 

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